When life gets too full, you can’t stop. You run in circles. You do everything that needs to be done and then some. And inevitably it all comes crashing down on you in one big mess of consequences… consequences that could have been avoided if you had only stopped for a moment to relax. Never mind the fact that life is always going to throw you something whether you’re ready or not.
So what do you do? How do you carry it all when there just doesn’t seem to be enough space?
The trick to carrying anything in your life, and I mean anything: grace and dignity. You can’t let life stress you out to the point of making hasty decisions or not taking care of yourself. So what if you don’t get it all done? So what if you’re short on cash? Life throws enough things at us that we’re bound to lose some along the way, but there’s no reason why we can’t do the best that we can. Take it one day at a time if you have to. Remember that you have lived and survived every single day that life has thrown at you so far.
Remembering this simple fact will help you carry everything else with grace and dignity. Life is tough enough as it is, but it’s your attitude towards things that make carrying the load easier.
Carry the weight with you, but don’t let it break you in the process.
No one ever said life was going to be easy. We all know that we have to work hard for the things we want in life. But sometimes, the load we carry is just too much for us to bear on our own. In these moments, it’s important to remember that we’re not alone. There are people who care about us, and they will help us get through whatever tough times come our way. So don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You’ll be surprised at how willing people are to lend a hand.
The Perils of Perfectionism
I used to be a perfectionist. I loaded myself up with making sure everything was right. Everything had to be perfect. This attention to detail was useful in some of the job roles that I’ve had. Business-critical processes had to work, and they had to work right.
The problem is that squeezing that extra 2% out of a system took 50, 60, or maybe 70 percent of my time and effort. There were other tasks that needed doing and sometimes they fell by the wayside. I forget to care about myself. I forgot to keep track of birthdays and social activities. That hindered my progress in other aspects of my social and personal development.
I have loads to carry. Thankfully, I have developed skills and my framework for living. I have limits and I have boundaries. I know that lifting a large washing machine will invariably cause damage to the muscles in my back. I no longer try to do such things by myself. I ask for help.
I help others and others help me. Well, not everyone does, at least not in obvious ways. The takers soon get filtered out of my life. I choose, instead, to help others that then go on to help yet more people.
I like to work WITH people, not FOR people. Sometimes I don’t have a choice and my likes and my preferences take a backseat. I sell my time and my skills to keep a roof above my head.
I do feel a sense of relief when I can unburden myself from a job that needs to be done; especially ones that I may feel resentment towards.
On the other hand, I also feel a sense of achievement when I’ve done something that I didn’t want to do.
Carrying the load with grace and dignity is possible because I know that eventually I will be unloaded. The washing machine will be installed, the grazed knuckles from carrying it through narrow doorways will heal and I’ll have the satisfaction of a job well done.
Sometimes I have to adapt to a change in circumstances. Change can be a burden. I think we as humans get used to things being comfortable. I know I can get lazy if there isn’t something spurring me on to take action. Accepting that life throws difficulties in my way was a valuable lesson. The world does not bow to my needs. I have to go out there and do something about it. More often than not, it is a change of attitude that makes it easier to carry the load.
Acceptance leads to freedom. I am who I am. I didn’t know who I was for many years. I struggled with my identity and my role in life. I was burdened by uncertainty, fear and doubt.
Not knowing made me fearful. That weighed heavily on my mind. I, like most other people, need a tribe to fit in. I need to find similarities and commonalities in order to be part of something.
Being part of something is part of who I am. The things I choose to be part of often have far-reaching consequences. I was in the wrong tribe for many years. I surrounded myself with other people that needed to drink. I worked. I drank. I slept. That held me back from exploring other opportunities.
I changed my circumstances when I stopped drinking. I was no longer part of that tribe. The isolation was a difficult load to carry. Thankfully, I sought out people with the same attitude towards alcohol.
Do not be fearful of making a change. There are many other people out there with the same ethics, beliefs, and attitudes as yourself. If you’re reading this, you are connected to billions of other people via the internet. There is someone out there that shares your thoughts, feelings, and aspirations.
Do not be afraid to change the load that you’re carrying. It is quite likely that someone else knows how to carry it already.
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All the best!
Matt The Happy Human